LEGEN... (the great birthday heist)

Voltaire buzzed me to ask my opinion on his new project - Oplan Zodiac - which I have been told some of you already know. Oplan Zodiac, to the uninitiated, goes something like this...

Bro : Hi there, Ms.<insert adjective synonymous to beautiful>! May I ask, if you don't mind, when's your birthday?

Ms. : Well, it's on <birthday>..

Bro : Whoa! So you're a/n <insert approproate zodiac sign>! Great! You do know that <zodiac sign> are good kissers?

Ms. : How would you know?! huh?

Bro : Let me prove it to you.

*boom*

*online fist bump*

True Story.

Anyway, he was trying to find out if Oplan Zodiac has a higher success rate than the Naked Man which has a 2/3 rate. Out of curiousity and, well, charity, I helped my wingman. Voltaire fared a little better with 1.5/2 compared to my 1/2 rating. We reckon that trying to hit on women online using this line is pathetic. Well, Tracy said, to Voltz,  once the girl laughs then the conversation would start [erratum! Voltz: let's clarify: tracy said it will generate laughter, but probably won't pick a girl up. my defense: girl laughs, conversation starts, hence, girl picked up. ayun.=P]. So we then said that maybe the "Have you met <name of your friend>..." is better. 

Which incidentally made us remember The Greatest Pick Up Line... Ever.

We were thinking of ways to pull this one off. After minutes of brainstorming where, when and how, I thought... 

...wait for it...

"WTF, gawin nating challenge ito pag may birthday ang isa sa atin. Since sa birthday naman ni Ted ginawa ni Barney ito."

hahaha.

Malapit na, Voltz. :p

It's going to be

 LEGEN...

...DARY!!!  (part II - click here)

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PS:

A NEW BARN-VOLUTION IN DATING EFFICIENCY

Check it. New thing. The Lemon Law. On a blind date and realize whoever set you up with this uggo is truly not your friend? You're free to go. Walk into a coffee shop and spot a muffin top spilling all over the hottie you've been chatting with online? Walk away, my friend. Eject. Abort. Do not pass Go. The Lemon Law allows you to bail on any date in the first five minutes, no questions asked. Consider it a hall pass for dating. 

I've uploaded some cards below. Print them out, fold them over, and simply hand one to your next flailing date before he or she gets their hopes all up in your grill. You're welcome.