Incinerate

It has been almost two months since I "came back" to playing Magic: The Gathering TCG. After 8 years of hiatus.

And in 20 day's time, I'll be able to play (or cast!) again my second most favorite red spell, Incinerate (Next to Lightning Bolt). It would be reprinted in the next core set, the Tenth Edition. And it would be having black borders! So I guess my Block Red SLigh can now switch to Standard.

Anyway, I gave the title Incinerate because that's what I am feeling right now. Or to quote Jaya, "...toast is an appropriate description."

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It has been 3 long weeks since I entered the workforce. A blink of an eye turn around from a being a college slacker to a corporate slave, a happy-go-lucky a-hole to a lucky-to-be-awake-by-8-pm mofo. All in a series of strokes with my pen over a paper with the letterhead Citibank,N.A scribbling my signature Raymond Olgado. And right know, I felt I've sold my soul to the devil. And the devil came in the person of a beautiful lady who said to me, "This is a 9-5 job. After work, you don't have to think about anything else except play." Damn it. [To think I fell for the semantics. Wittgenstein would have killed me! (hahaha)] Nine to five job my ass! Every second seemed like an eternity in work.

But the devil's half truths are even worse. Pinaasa lang amf. After work, indeed, the only thing I think about is play, i.e., when the fuck can I play when I'm already tired and really to collapse on to my bed. I wish I could save my soul. But salvation comes in the form of a 50 grand bond. Good luck to my soul then. Salvation for now is not an option. And the Theory of No Choice tells me: magtrabaho ka na lang! Oh well, I guess I have to float around the Inferno's Second Circle, at least to pass time.

I do love my work, somehow. I guess I just have to look at it from another angle.

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Burnt out. My ash carried over yonder by the west wind.

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The thing I hate, though, about the stress that work brings is that it affects my personal life. When I signed that contract, I told myself, "taena ayos ito, may pang date na ako at pambili ng bulaklak para sa kanya." But three weeks later, there's no more Her. No one to buy flowers for, to watch the Simpsons movie with, to feast at Bellini's with, to hang out with. Damn. All this stress makes me do things I'm not supposed to do, or throw words which are not true at all. I guess this is what I got for selling my soul...

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I love you. Even though my heart is of stone.